For me it was the three pounds I have gained since Thursday...yep lost complete and total control for almost four days. Stuffed anything and everything into my pie hole, didn't exercise at all, drank copious amounts of alcohol, and ate out almost every meal. Easter dinner at my mother's was probably the worst. I ate three yeast dinner rolls and she made a snarky comment about my weight. Ouch and there were two boxes of marshmallow bunnies that definitely didn't make it my sons' Easter baskets. Let's not mention (oh what the hell) the THREE additional rolls I poked down my gullet when I got home. Any good running a half marathon a week ago was destroyed in one, single week.
Thank goodness for restart days.
I woke up today with the mindset that I would do better, I would make good food choices, and I would do some form of exercise (other than walking). I ate a small breakfast sandwhich, had an apple, ate a good lunch and then some yogurt for an afternooon snack. I decided to go for a run, because after my little guy's bad reaction to the gym day care and the fact that it costs me $10 to drive to the gym I didn't feel like it was worth it. I laced up and headed out into warm afternoon. I started running and I started thinking. I usually play games with my mind, if you can just get to that mailbox, you can walk, just make it through this song and you can walk, a dog is chasing me-better walk (that actually happened today) so he doesn't interpret my running as aggression, so on and so forth. Let's not forget that I haven't ran in a entire week and the weeks leading up the the half marathon my running was spotty. I am not fast at all. I have a 5K at the end of the month and I am thinking anything under 40:00 will be good. Back to the mind games....
As I was running I was playing my games, but I kept coming back to "why am I doing this"? Today my answer was "because I can and I need to be grateful for my body-flabby and gross as it is". I watched in complete and utter horror on Sunday when Kevin Ware broke his leg. I was stunned and saddened by this promising young man's injury. While I was running I kept thinking about him and how he would just be grateful to be able to walk again, let alone have the ability to run. I thought about my Dad, who has had surgeries on both knees and ankles from sports-related injuries and how proud he has been of me in taking up running. I thought of other people in my life that have health problems and cannot exercise. Pretty soon my RunKeeper let me know that I had hit the two mile mark. I eeked out another mile and then I cooled down by walking another mile and a half. Grateful that my legs were able to carry me and my weight that far.
I picked up the little guy from the sitter, came home and played in the yard with him and then ate a somewhat sensible supper. I am sitting here thinking how good a Reese's egg would taste, but also how terrible I would feel knowing that I am this close to having a great day. I also got in my 50 squats for the April Squat Challenge over in the MLFC.
Good night everyone!
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